Module 12

Responsive Parenting Self-Assessment

Honest check-in on how well you're reading and responding to your child's cues

Responsive parenting means reading your child's signals accurately and responding in a way that meets their need — not your interpretation of their need, not what a book says, and not what worked yesterday. This assessment helps you see your patterns clearly so you can adjust where it counts.

Score each item: 0 = Rarely, 1 = Sometimes, 2 = Often, 3 = Almost Always

Reading Cues

Score: ___ / 3

I can tell the difference between my child's types of cries or distress signals

I notice when my child's mood shifts before it escalates to a meltdown

I pay attention to my child's body language, not just their words

I can distinguish between a child who needs comfort and one who needs space

I notice when my child is overstimulated and needs a change of environment

Emotional Responsiveness

Score: ___ / 3

I validate my child's feelings before trying to fix the problem

I stay calm when my child is having a big emotion (most of the time)

I name emotions for my child ('You seem frustrated' vs. 'Stop crying')

I allow my child to feel negative emotions without rushing to cheer them up

I share my own emotions appropriately ('I'm feeling overwhelmed right now')

Presence & Attention

Score: ___ / 3

I give my child at least 10 minutes of undivided attention daily (no phone)

When my child talks to me, I stop what I'm doing and make eye contact

I follow my child's lead in play rather than directing the activity

I'm physically present and emotionally available during routines (meals, bedtime)

I notice my child's bids for connection and respond to them (not just their demands)

Repair & Flexibility

Score: ___ / 3

When I lose my temper, I come back and apologize sincerely

I adjust my parenting approach based on what's working, not what 'should' work

I recognize when my response is about my stress, not my child's behavior

I can let go of a parenting strategy that isn't serving my child

I'm open to feedback from my partner, child, or others about my parenting

Scoring

50-60 points

Highly responsive — your child likely feels deeply seen and safe

40-49 points

Strong foundation — some areas to sharpen under stress

30-39 points

Room to grow — pick one category and focus there for 2 weeks

Below 30

This isn't a failing grade — it's a starting point. You're here, which means you care.

My total score: ____ / 60

Reflection

My Responsive Parenting Goals

Lowest-scoring category:— This is where I'll focus my attention for the next two weeks

One specific situation where I want to respond differently:— Think about a recurring moment — morning rush, bedtime resistance, sibling conflict

What gets in my way:— Phone distraction? My own stress? Impatience? Not knowing what else to do?

One thing I already do well:— Acknowledge this. Build from strength, not shame.

The one change I'm committing to this week:

Don't try to improve everything at once. Research on habit formation shows that one targeted change, practiced consistently for two weeks, creates more lasting improvement than five changes attempted simultaneously.