Module 37
How to identify fight, flight, freeze, and fawn responses in children by age
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Think about how your child typically reacts when stressed, overwhelmed, or feeling threatened. Rate each behavior from 1 (rarely / never seen) to 4 (very frequently / this is their go-to response). The category with the highest score reveals your child's primary stress response pattern.
Hitting, kicking, biting, or throwing objects when upset
Yelling, screaming, or verbal aggression ('I hate you!', 'NO!')
Slamming doors, destroying toys, or breaking things during meltdowns
Arguing back intensely, defiant refusal, or oppositional behavior
Clenched fists, rigid body, jaw clenching, or aggressive posture
Blaming others, refusing to take responsibility when stressed
Explosive anger that seems disproportionate to the trigger
Running away, hiding (under tables, beds, in closets) when stressed
Trying to leave the room, avoiding situations, or refusing to go places
Excessive restlessness, fidgeting, or inability to sit still when anxious
Stomach aches or headaches before stressful events (school, social situations)
Changing the subject, nervous laughter, or deflecting when topics get uncomfortable
Social withdrawal — retreating to their room, avoiding friends or activities
Using screens, gaming, or busyness as an escape from stressful feelings
Going blank, deer-in-headlights stare, or appearing 'zoned out' when stressed
Inability to answer questions or speak when called on or confronted
Mind going blank during tests, performances, or pressure situations
Appearing numb, emotionally flat, or indifferent when something upsetting happens
Saying 'I don't know' to everything when stressed or overwhelmed
Going limp, sudden silence, or falling asleep in stressful situations
Difficulty making decisions or chronic procrastination when facing demands
Excessive apologizing, even for things that aren't their fault
Giving away toys or giving in immediately to avoid any conflict
Monitoring adults' moods and trying to make angry or sad people happy
Changing personality based on who they're with — being what others want
Inability to say no, compulsive people-pleasing, or always putting others first
Taking blame they don't deserve to keep the peace
Excessive helpfulness or 'perfect' behavior that seems driven by anxiety rather than genuine desire