"Division of Responsibility" Cheat Sheet

Ellyn Satter's evidence-based feeding model that ends mealtime battles — your job vs. their job, clearly defined

How to Use This

How to Use This: Read the core framework (parent's job vs. child's job), then review the 'What This Looks Like in Practice' table for real-life scenarios. Post the parent/child job division somewhere visible — fridge, dining area — as a reminder during mealtimes.

Key Terms

Key terms: sDOR (Satter Division of Responsibility) is the evidence-based feeding model described here. ARFID (Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder) is a clinical eating disorder beyond normal picky eating, where a child's food repertoire is extremely limited and shrinking.

Developed by Ellyn Satter, RD, and backed by decades of feeding research, the Division of Responsibility (sDOR) is the gold-standard framework for feeding children. It eliminates power struggles by clearly defining who's responsible for what. When parents do their jobs and trust children to do theirs, kids eat better, develop healthier relationships with food, and are more willing to try new things.

The Core Framework

Parent's Job (THE WHAT, WHEN, WHERE)

✓WHAT food is offered — you choose the menu
✓WHEN meals and snacks happen — you set the schedule

Child's Job (THE WHETHER & HOW MUCH)

✗WHETHER they eat at all — yes, this is their choice
✗HOW MUCH they eat of what you've provided — trust their appetite regulation

What This Looks Like in Practice

Situation	Old Way (Pressure)	sDOR Way (Trust)
Child won't eat dinner	"You have to eat 3 more bites before you leave the table"	"You don't have to eat it. This is what we're having. Breakfast is at 7 AM."
Child only eats bread from the plate	"Eat your chicken first, then you can have more bread"	Serve a reasonable portion of bread with the meal. When it's gone, it's gone. No restricting.

Structure That Makes It Work

1Offer 3 meals and 2-3 snacks at roughly the same times each day — predictability builds trust
2Sit-down snacks at the table (not grazing from a snack cup in the car/stroller all day)

Common Fears (And Why They're Unfounded)

Parent Fear	Reality
"They'll starve if I don't make them eat"	Healthy children will not allow themselves to starve. Appetite self-regulation is innate unless we override it with pressure.
"They'll only eat carbs forever"	Carb preference is normal at this age. If you keep offering variety without pressure, the diet broadens naturally over months (not days).

The hardest part is doing your job and NOT doing theirs. You'll want to say "just try it." You'll want to celebrate when they eat vegetables. Resist. Neutrality is the goal. Food is not a performance.

Important

When to seek help: If your child eats fewer than 20 foods total and the number is shrinking (not growing), if they gag or vomit on textures, or if they have significant weight faltering — talk to your pediatrician about a feeding evaluation. Some picky eating goes beyond normal neophobia into ARFID (Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder) and needs specialized support.

Next Steps

Next Steps: Implement the sDOR framework for 2 weeks before judging results — it takes time to reset mealtime dynamics. Use the Picky Eater Strategy Tracker alongside this cheat sheet to track gradual food acceptance progress.